Eskimo sunglasses!

Direct from A Lass in Alaska, come these nifty high-tech pieces of art — Eskimo sunglasses!

The best part is I've seen sunglasses much like this, as worn by cinematic Chinese gangmembers in the beginning of a movie that is required viewing among all true cinephiles, John Landis Carpenter's Big Trouble in Little China (1986).

According to the Lass' notes, these things are made of 100% natural ingredients. Sorry, PETA — all the natural ingredients seem to come from animals, including (I dare not believe this, as it sounds too good to be true) mammoth ivory. They feel smooth and cool and dense, like bone. They are made of walrus tusk, with eyes made from walrus ivory and mammoth ivory. The black dots are baleen, and the cord is made from caribou sinew, tufted with polar bear fur.

Cue Jacques Cousteau: "Nozzing is wasted; not even ze sinews..."

Here's the front view of the sunglasses. They operate by providing only a narrow slit to see out of, restricting solar input. For someone with astigmatism, such as myself, they also sharpen vision, in the same way that peering through a narrow "pinhole" made with one's thumb and forefinger does.

Eskimo sunglasses: front view
And here's the side view, made all the more disturbing by the terrific "eyespots" placed on the ends:

Eskimo sunglasses: side view

And here is the resulting "look" —

photo credit: Red Cameron

What's not to like?

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