Californianing: "La Taza De La Raza" redux
And in other poo-related news (see below)...
***
I'd posted about this a few months back: a quaint and charming custom of recent immigrants to the US, and especially the Coachella Valley — not flushing used toilet paper down the toilet. Rather, the toilet paper is "disposed" of by dropping onto the floor near the toilet, possibly as a libation (or whatever the solid-waste analog is) to the Crap Fairies, who (as everyone knows) like nothing more than to clean up after humans all day.
Note that I discovered this while teaching at a community college. C-o-l-l-e-g-e. Not the local AM/PM.
I'd let it go at that, but a week ago a Los Angeles radio station devoted an hour to odd immigre habits, and the "throw crappy pieces of used toilet paper on the ground" habit was mentioned prominently and repeatedly. So it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon.
So here again, as my thoughts turn to the coming summer months, I post
AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL IMMIGRANTS (especially those wishing to reside permanently, whether illegal or not) RESIDING IN THE COACHELLA VALLEY, AND LARGER PORTIONS OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA:
Dear Friend,
The toilet paper goes in the toilet. Then flush. The toilet will actually work 99+% of the time!
In the United States, plumbing and ee-lectricity are not supplied and controlled in the same fashion as they were in Columbia, El Salvador or Mexico, so we don't have the same problem with sporadic service and outages.
The 'lectricity will be there today, tomorrow and the next day. And the toilets won't back up if you toss a match into the bowl.
So enjoy! Flush twice, if you feel like it! We won't hold it against you, and you'll be doing your part to reduce incidents of cholera, worms and God-knows-what-else in your new-fangled country.
Which just happens to be my old-fangled country.
And I can go back to not having to train my children to not go into public stalls when there are wads of toilet paper on the floor.
Regards, and Best Wishes,
Wry Mouth
Just doing my part.
***
I'd posted about this a few months back: a quaint and charming custom of recent immigrants to the US, and especially the Coachella Valley — not flushing used toilet paper down the toilet. Rather, the toilet paper is "disposed" of by dropping onto the floor near the toilet, possibly as a libation (or whatever the solid-waste analog is) to the Crap Fairies, who (as everyone knows) like nothing more than to clean up after humans all day.
Note that I discovered this while teaching at a community college. C-o-l-l-e-g-e. Not the local AM/PM.
I'd let it go at that, but a week ago a Los Angeles radio station devoted an hour to odd immigre habits, and the "throw crappy pieces of used toilet paper on the ground" habit was mentioned prominently and repeatedly. So it doesn't seem to be going away any time soon.
So here again, as my thoughts turn to the coming summer months, I post
AN OPEN LETTER TO ALL IMMIGRANTS (especially those wishing to reside permanently, whether illegal or not) RESIDING IN THE COACHELLA VALLEY, AND LARGER PORTIONS OF SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA:
Dear Friend,
The toilet paper goes in the toilet. Then flush. The toilet will actually work 99+% of the time!
In the United States, plumbing and ee-lectricity are not supplied and controlled in the same fashion as they were in Columbia, El Salvador or Mexico, so we don't have the same problem with sporadic service and outages.
The 'lectricity will be there today, tomorrow and the next day. And the toilets won't back up if you toss a match into the bowl.
So enjoy! Flush twice, if you feel like it! We won't hold it against you, and you'll be doing your part to reduce incidents of cholera, worms and God-knows-what-else in your new-fangled country.
Which just happens to be my old-fangled country.
And I can go back to not having to train my children to not go into public stalls when there are wads of toilet paper on the floor.
Regards, and Best Wishes,
Wry Mouth
Just doing my part.
Posted by WryMouth at 29 May 2008, 9:45 AM 
Categories: Californianing, Astonishing Tales, Start Spreadin Manure
Categories: Californianing, Astonishing Tales, Start Spreadin Manure
Ah. I am sorry youse wans have this problem. It has surfaced over here too, to coin a phrase, but perhaps less than in times gone by. Don't know why. Maybe our loo-roll origami experts have all emigrated down your way.
I am going to share a little anecdote with yiz. A scene in which my dignity was much affronted, and owing solely to my choice of toilet paper. A cautionary tale, but it still makes me laugh.
In my late teens, I lived in a very unsalubrious neighbourhood. The kind where shops appear and disappear behind wooden boards, and cigarettes are sold singly. Anyway...sent on an errand to purchase toilet paper, I espied two brands. One, by far the most prevalent and stacked-up high, was an unpleasant off-white shade, sold in single, unwrapped rolls, and bore the distinct, and rather unpleasant indications of ample wood-shavings dispersed throughout the weave. The alternative offering was a single packet of a well-known, but expensive make. I did not ponder, and chose the expensive sort, which would not leave me open to skelfs in the bahookie.
The two shop assistants were clearly bemused by my choice. Genuinely bemused at such unfamiliar loo-roll decadence."Michty, Agnes," said one heavily made-up peroxide-tastic cashier, to her colleague."Nae shite for her!" Raucous laughter ensued. For a very long time.
I have to say, my feathers were ruffled. Clearly, they were prepared to use customers as the butt of jokes. Only me, though. They were prepared to risk me not coming back, cos it didn't matter. The fancy packet was now sold.
Ick. Who knew? Double ick.